This mom's best friend

I lost a trusted friend this week. My not quite five year old eternal "puppy" Holly had an accidental fall. Being a dachshund she was predisposed to back problems. She herniated two discs and the neurological damage at best, offered a very bleak prognosis. Before I had Holly I wasn't a dog person at all. My puppy wormed her way into my heart. 

Her favorite thing in life was simple. She loved to snuggle on a lap. Anyone who had a lap, she helped herself to. What I loved so much about her was, all bets were off once I sat down. It was the running joke in our house when I sat down we all knew she was headed my way. She wanted me first. She loved me as I loved her, unconditionally. And she loved me best and I knew it.

The kids are so sad. Her friend Jack is lost without her.

My heart is broken. I hope not having her around gets easier with time. Its been four days and I miss her terribly.

Remembering

Nine years ago today the world was so much different. The big picture as well as my little snapshot.

It was such a beautiful day. I had a three month old infant. I had just dropped off both girls at school,  the four year old little girl in pre-school and the first grader. They both went to school now for the whole day  This is a very exciting milestone in a stay-at-home mom's life. This glorious day belonged to me. I was just getting used to this new routine. New baby, new schedule. (There's that schedule thing again..I'm telling you, schedule should have been my middle name.) I walked in the door of my growing house. We were undergoing renovations and if I close my eyes I can still see the "mess" I was in. (I'd give my right  t.. uhh, leg for that mess versus the mess I have now--little kids, little mess...etc.) The phone rang and it was my older sister. "Heya...how you doing?" I was standing in my very cute little den, Sis said "Something awful has happened. Very awful, turn the TV on. A plane just flew into the World Trade Center." And so beauty of the day disappeared.

Fast forward 9 years.

Today's weather is just like it was on that awful day. A  glorious and beautiful fall day. Our expanded house could use a lot moooooore stretching. The itty bitty TV that I turned on to watch the world change, is in the basement under a few inches of dust with the rest of the yard sale stuff. My sister still calls me when big things happen in the world, because she calls everybody. Me first though.  That little den is now a very dirty room which belongs to an eighth grader and a tenth grader (formerly the pre-school kid and first grader.) The infant is nine, he is full of all the piss and vinegar that a little boy is supposed to have. (That's how I justify his off the wall antics...What??? He's a boy!)  We have a bigger TV and a little more stuff then we did back then.

And life goes on. It just does whether we want it to or not. It's happy memories and those close to us that enables us to move forward with our chins up. On this day of reflection, I'm remembering how much I cherished my family and pulled them a little bit closer to me in the weeks and months following 9/11. I am blessed by God's grace to still have my nucleus intact. For that I am grateful on this beautiful and glorious day.

Chillaxin Jack

Stupid dog. Can't tell you how many times I find this numbskull sitting like this...As stupid as he is, he makes me laugh. Going on two years living with us. He's still as dumb as a stick.

He's got the kind of face that tends to grow on you.

He still goes to the bathroom in the house. #1 and #2. And I still let him live here. I don't even know why. I'm so not a dog person.

Schedules

Tuesday September 7, 2010

Summer's gone. Back into the school routine. Three kids, three schools. Three start times, three release times. Three sets of activities. One me. One brain.

When I didn't work  in the good old days I used to keep a calender for the kids activities and appointments. I wrote everything down to be prepared and know what I was dealing with before it happened. I was over organized. It was all on the calender. I needed to see it. There could be no surprises. And there weren't any. These days I write nothing down and and am living life dangerously, on the edge. I'm "winging it." I could never do this before, there could be no deviations from what was scheduled.

Now that I'm working I hardly ever use a calender. I write stuff on scraps of paper,  on the corner of my check book, a gum wrapper. Nothing ever makes it to a calender. The closest thing to an appointment calender is on my desk at work. And its under my keyboard. Sometimes I look at it. Mostly no.

(Okay, this where I stopped writing, I suppose I must have ventured off to get a brownie, and never came back.  As usual I have no idea where I was going with this.....And that's where Part II comes in. I clearly know where I'm going with it. Read on.)

Wednesday September 8, 2010

Getting used to the new school year comes with its challenges, but I'm managing. My new routine is getting up early to get as much cleaning and laundry done before I leave the house so when I come home at four pm with the kids, I just need to focus on dinner.  So I'm feeling pretty good about how things are going so far. Day three of school and we are working things out.

The last kiddie drop off before I go to work,  is the little boy. As he and I are getting into the car on this beautiful Wednesday morning,  I say to him "Don't let me forget to pick up Meg from her Grandpa tomorrow, her mom asked me if I could bring her to school. That's your job, dude...remember don't let me forget Meg." As I arrived at work,  Meg's mom texts  me "Everyone get to school alright today?" "SHIT! SHIT SHIT!" "SHIT SHIT"   Today was Wednesday. It was Wednesday that she wanted me to pick up Meg. Damn Labor Day screwed up my mental schedule. After making a few calls to make sure Meg's grandpa took her to school, I texted Meg's mom and said "All set. Kids delivered to school"  She texts me back "I can't thank you enough" to which I reply "Oh no you really don't have to thank me."

Meg's mom and I are tight, so she was understanding and thankfully she understood. I think it's time for me to start keeping a calender again. Now where is my pen?

Fast Foward

Ok, so a year has past and not a single blog. I read something about me blogging more often. Did I write that? Hmm, I must have. Anyways, my friend Kimmers http://me-anotherdayinthelifeofme.blogspot.com/2010/09/and-so-it-begins.html started her long over due blog tonight, so she prompted me to get my ass back here. . If she can do it so can I. So let's see Kimmers, who will persevere? You or me?