Wednesday, January 28, 2009

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program..... accommodate the DOG!

I have spent most of this miserable snowy/rainy day telling a dog that I have only a 31 day investment in to "get busy." I shoveled snow for this dog to do his business, I shoveled slush for him do his business. I shoveled slush mixed with shit so he would do his thang. And finally I shoveled puddles of water for this little boy to do his duty. I spent more friggen time with this dog out in the rain than I particularly care to. For what? A dog that I don't really like that much. He looks at me with sad eyes when I pick him up, turn him around and drop him back in a puddle and say "get busy." For some reason he likes me. Despite the fact that I kept dropping him in Mother Nature's mud puddle.

A little while ago, with supper dishes all cleaned up I thought I would sit down in front of the tv & computer with a brownie or three to spend a little me time. Nope. After spending the better part of the last 30 minuets outside, I took Fido in the house and gave him a treat (ok ok so he didn't produce, but it's a snacky kind of night.) He looked at me all wet, followed me to the couch and sat right on my lap all wet and stanky. He shook himself off then floofed up the couch blanket, sighed, looked at me and stuck his nose under my arm. Why me? This was supposed to be The Middle Child's dog. SHE was supposed to be the one to care for it, she and The Man I Married. Both professed their undying commitment to this house shitting, crate shitting, flea & ear mite infested mutt.

So here I sit with my arm up in the air as I type, lest I disturb the dog, I wonder what was I going to blog about if I didn't have the dog to complain about? Stacie, could you please pass me some lemonade to wash down my brownies?

Footnote...I tried and tried to link you Stacie, but I just couldn't figure it out. Maybe some time when I don't have a dog shoved up my armpit I can figure it out. Unless of course someone can explain

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Sweet and Condensed Version of What the hell happened to me in the past month!

Ok...So I have been missed. Thank you Stacie for dropping me a hello today!!! Rita...thank you for calling me. Suzie thanks for keeping me in the loop ...and Debbie on the Edge? Thanks for the hello last week...or was it the week before?!

So Christmas happened. It came and went. It was Christmas. Too much stuff, kids who take it all for granted, and the water from the tree stained my hardwood floor!

The day after Christmas we got ANOTHER dog. A mini dashaund. Now I have book ends. Holly our 3 year old mini doxie was living high on the hog till Jaaaaaaaaaack joined us. The Middle Child's birthday is the day after Christmas, so every year we try to "make it special." Pfft...this year we made it special allright. I had a weak moment when the Man I Married said "how about this one year old mini doxie that only cost $150.00, is house trained, crate trained, and loves kids?" So I said yes. I don't know why I said yes, but I did. WHAT WAS I THINKING? I had a brief moment of insanity I suppose, I barely like animals!

To summarize the past 31 days with Jack? We've been livin' a lieeeeeeeeeee. The girl who unloaded him on us lied, lied, lied to us. Her house smelled, that should have been the first clue when we went to pick him up. The five other, undernourished dogs and two ugly cats should have been the second clue. And the fact that she called us THREE times on Christmas day to be sure we would pick him up the next day should have been the third clue. She was desperate. We think it was probably for a drug fix. Seriously. This dog shits in the house, he shits in his crate, and growls at My Boy (who is 7) and my 3 year old nephew. He came with fleas, and ear mites. So this $150.00 dog has incurred more bills that his 3 year old sister ($90.00 for 6 months of Frontline, $85.00 for two dogs to be flea dipped, $24.00 for the new SMALLER crate that he still shits in, $205.00 in Vet bills cause there was no proof of vacinations with the flea bag, and $90.00 that I have to pay the friggen trainer to let the little fucker out while I'm at work!!! I didn't even pay child care for my babies!!!!!!!!!!!) Anyone keeping track of how much I'm up to here? Good think I went back to work, huh? I have to keep my eyes on him 24/7, lest he shits in my house. I keep telling the 12 year old "We don't live this way!!!!!" Argh!!!!!!!!

I have been working on the yearbook for the kids' elementry school, under duress. HOOK, LINE AND SINKER I got roped into it. ALONE. I have been wresteling with a computer program that the yearbook company claims is "user friendly." I am however NOT a friedly user. It stress me right the hell out. I have contributed far more hours than I have to give.

The job that I started in September (after a 14 year absense) was supposed to be 16 hours a week. I have been working 35 hour weeks. While the money is nice....I am not just ment to be a working mother. I like my job. I hate what I have to do to get there. Maybe in time I will get used to it? I don't think that I am doing anything different than any other working mom, I just am not handeling it as graciously as they are.

Oh and did I mention that I am dealing with identity theft? I've had two credit cards that have been frauduently charged on. I have both cards in my possesion, so I have no idea how they got my information. For some reason, someone wants to be me, imagine? Is it the new dog that shits in the house or the "userfriendly" yearbook program that makes it seem so attactive? I make it look fun don't I? I wish that person would just take the whole package, dirty house, piles of laundry, the dirty car, piles of snow to be shoveled, the freash kids and the lazy husband. I don't know if the same person has both cards, but one of them reeeally reealllly likes coffee. They spent about $800.00 total in Starbucks in California.

My hair needs to be dyed, my mustache waxed, and my legs need to be shaved (I never kept my New Year's Resolution to shave regularly.) What's not to want about my life?

I am going to suck it up and try to keep up with my blogging. Thank you friends for reminding me that there is a bigger world out there than this little one that I live in!!!!

P.S.--I actually am starting to like the house shitting dog. He had very sad eyes when he came to us, and is really coming to life as he gets used to us.
Jack the new dog is on the left, see those sad looking eyes? Holly the wider dog on the right is the well adjusted 3 year old chubby girl who has not a care in the world.